Tools To Help You Work With Difficult People

We have all been there - working with a difficult person. This is one of the most common challenges found in today’s workplace. Maybe it is a coworker or perhaps it is your boss who just rubs you the wrong way. Regardless of who it is, it is easily recognized and felt. 

True empowerment is internal work beginning in the mind. We feel agitated because of what we think of the difficult person, not the actual person himself. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This means we have a responsibility for what we think and how we feel. Our thoughts trigger our feelings and often lead us to conclude that it is the external situation or person causing our stress. This is just another form of criticism, judgment, blame and condemnation – often the very behavior we are accusing others of doing.

These are some tips you can use when you find yourself in a difficult situation at work (or in life): 

Be aware of what you are seeing and what you are thinking. Then, take responsibility for how you feel. Pay attention to how you respond, react or don’t. Always remember to breathe and relax. This will calm your heart and ultimately, your mind. If you don’t have words or the right words, use silence. This is better than saying something in haste. When you decide to speak, make sure your voice is calm and using accurate data. I am reminded of a quote I have heard, seeking to understand. This is always great advice. It is always a good idea to find compassion for the other person/people, challenge your own assumptions and empathize with them. Put your intentions on rational problem solving rather than emotional reactions. Forgive others if they truly have done something wrong. None of us is a perfect person and ultimately, it sets you free. 

Best, 

Manal