Tools To Help You Work With Difficult People

We have all been there - working with a difficult person. This is one of the most common challenges found in today’s workplace. Maybe it is a coworker or perhaps it is your boss who just rubs you the wrong way. Regardless of who it is, it is easily recognized and felt. 

True empowerment is internal work beginning in the mind. We feel agitated because of what we think of the difficult person, not the actual person himself. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This means we have a responsibility for what we think and how we feel. Our thoughts trigger our feelings and often lead us to conclude that it is the external situation or person causing our stress. This is just another form of criticism, judgment, blame and condemnation – often the very behavior we are accusing others of doing.

These are some tips you can use when you find yourself in a difficult situation at work (or in life): 

Be aware of what you are seeing and what you are thinking. Then, take responsibility for how you feel. Pay attention to how you respond, react or don’t. Always remember to breathe and relax. This will calm your heart and ultimately, your mind. If you don’t have words or the right words, use silence. This is better than saying something in haste. When you decide to speak, make sure your voice is calm and using accurate data. I am reminded of a quote I have heard, seeking to understand. This is always great advice. It is always a good idea to find compassion for the other person/people, challenge your own assumptions and empathize with them. Put your intentions on rational problem solving rather than emotional reactions. Forgive others if they truly have done something wrong. None of us is a perfect person and ultimately, it sets you free. 

Best, 

Manal

Pay It Forward

 

 

In spite of individual differences, kindness is something everyone has to give. Taking a moment to do something nice for someone else can make your day, and theirs, more pleasant. Paying it forward is about sharing a positive moment with another person solely for the sake of making that person smile. 

Here are some ideas of how your leadership team can pay it forward this month. 

Leaders can become actively engaged in doing good by doing acts of kindness for others this time of year.

• If you are contacted by someone new to the field for advice, take them out for coffee and provide mentorship. Don't be afraid of "helping" the competition, often these people can become great referral sources and friends. 

• If you have a large enough company, host a charity challenge where different departments compete against each other to raise money for their designated charities. It's a great team-building effort that helps the charities who receive the donations at the end of the challenge. 

• Set up an area at your workplace for people to place items for recycling, like paper, aluminum cans and plastic bottles. Volunteer to bring these items regularly to a recycling center, or you can set up a schedule where coworkers rotate taking on that responsibility. 

• Some companies allow a certain amount of paid hours where staff members can volunteer at their favorite charity. 

• Sponsor a local charity event or a children's sports league. Not only is this a great way to get your business name out in the community but the funds you provide help these organizations to do more good work. 

• Another work-related way to pay it forward is to coordinate a group of employees to do a volunteer project together. Many charities allow company groups to come, and work for a day on a set project. Or you can organize a charitable giving project together, such as collecting food for the local food bank or a clothing drive for a homeless shelter. 

• Encourage your employees to form a company team and join a local charity's 5K or 10K race. Provide funding for the team to create their own t-shirts and to donate to their fundraising efforts. 

• Create a "Pay It Forward" bulletin board in a communal space and encourage staff to post notes about charities they support or items they might need help with, as well as notes celebrating acts of good service. 

People want to feel comfortable and secure in the place they choose to live. Showing kindness to your neighbors and local acquaintances can help create a happy community.

• Find a blood drive near you and donate blood to help people in need. 

• In lieu of gifts for your birthday or another holiday, ask guests to donate to your favorite charity in your name. 

• Donate goods to local nonprofit organizations like the library, pet rescue, preschool, thrift shop or soup kitchen. 

• Volunteer in your community. Stop by a local organization and ask what types of jobs you could volunteer for. 

• Sign up for a charity walk/run. By participating in fundraising events within your community, you keep those programs alive for your friends and neighbors.

Have fun with this! Follow your passions and the passions of those that you surround yourself with.

Pay it forward this month and throughout the holiday season. 

Best, 

Manal

 

Motivating and Inspiring People

When it comes to leadership, one of the most important things a leader can do is motivate and inspire people.

I would be interested to know if you think this has changed for you in your leadership role during the time of the pandemic. Do you find it harder to motivate people in today’s world? 

Some people are naturally good at motivating and inspiring others but most people have to dial into this skill and develop and grow it. 

With 2022 on the horizon, we can use new year’s goals as an example.

Say you start a new resolution in mind and in the beginning you have boundless enthusiasm to meet your goals with it. This is when it is easy to win the support of others. People are “all in” at the beginning. However, when enthusiasm fades or situations change, rallying support may be more tough. 

Leaders don’t quit believing in what is important to them just because the going gets tough. This is when they work hard on connecting their vision with people’s individual needs, goals and dreams. 

Leaders know how to restate their vision so that it is attractive and engaging, providing both intrinsic and extrinsic rewards to those who participate in carrying out the vision set forth. 

In the case mentioned above, say the leader had envisioned a new company wellness program for the new year but then let’s say everyone gets quarantined again.

This leader might think of a worst case scenario type situation where online workouts, online contests and meeting goals virtually can still be celebrated amongst the team. 

No matter what, communication is key to leadership at all levels. When your team respects you as a leader, it is so much easier to motivate and inspire them. Stand up for your vision and allow others to see what you see. 

In the end, everyone will be better for it. 

Best,

Manal

Intuition as a Leader Today

Intuition is trusting the inner knowing if something is right or if something is off track. 

Intuition should be your first point of reference in trusting yourself as a leader in today's world.

Leadership is and always has been about figuring out what to do in certain situations. 

Let’s look at three words that seem to be tied to today’s leader’s intuition: love, honor, cherish.

Love

If we don’t learn how to love ourselves, it is very difficult to give love out to the world or how to receive it. 

Love is the most universal power there is. What is your experience of love? What is your experience in being in a relationship with yourself? 

When you can shift into love for yourself, you will be able to best serve and lead others around you.

Honor

How do you honor your own being? How do you take care of your mind, your body and your spirit. We can learn from everyone. Wisdom can be extracted from others. It may come in the form of observing other’s lives or watching a child doing something that seems like an everyday thing. 

Journaling will help you see the wisdom from days gone by. 

The modern day leader is observant of people and things around her.

Cherish

We were designed to be cherished. If you do not feel like you are being cherished in your life - pull back and get still. Ask what being cherished looks like and feel like for you? This is the wisdom of the heart so you can feel good about who you are and how you are showing up in the world. Develop a sense of what it means to cherish your own being. Observe if this is being given back to you from the people around you. Be present and aware who is nourishing, cherishing and feeding your spirit. We are priceless and precious. Nourishing your own spirit is by developing a pattern that you do - a walk in nature, a study/reading, and creating a very clear vision of how to show up in the world. 

Being your authentic self brings you power in itself. 

Ask if your team loves being led by you. 

Leading as a leader today looks like throwing off the burdens and boxes that people would push us into and not being molded by what other people say we must do or can not do. Ask yourself to be shown what you need to see. Trust yourself and you will find your purpose, your authentic power and your intuition will grow strong. 

The world needs you to be exactly who you are. 

Best, 

Manal